Becoming the ocean
becoming yourself
There is a story of a little salt girl. I was looking through some of the notes I kept from my Chaplaincy study, way back over 10 years ago, and there on a messy page, underlined, was written: The Little Salt Doll, right next to the words: “God is at home - it is we who have gone out for a walk” (Meister Eckhart). And “we must let go, even of God, so that God can be God in us”.
“A doll of salt, after a long pilgrimage on dry land, came to the sea and discovered something she had never seen and could not possibly understand. She stood on the firm ground, a solid little doll of salt, and saw there was another ground that was mobile, insecure, noisy, strange and unknown. She asked the sea, “But what are you?” and it said, “I am the sea.” And the doll said, “What is the sea?” to which the answer was, “It is me.” Then the doll said, “I cannot understand, but I want to; how can I?” The sea answered, “Touch me.” So the doll shyly put forward a foot and touched the water and she got a strange impression that it was something that began to be knowable. She withdrew her leg, looked and saw that her toes had gone, and she was afraid and said, “Oh, but where is my toe, what have you done to me?” And the sea said, “You have given something in order to understand.” Gradually the water took away small bits of the doll’s salt and the doll went farther and farther into the sea and at every moment she had a sense of understanding more and more, and yet of not being able to say what the sea was. As she went deeper, she melted more and more, repeating: “But what is the sea?” At last a wave dissolved the rest of her and the doll said: “It is I!””
Source | Metropolitan Anthony Bloom, Living Prayer ,
(Darton Longman and Todd, 19 66) pages 105-106
These notes are on loose sheets of paper, kept in a drawer next to me. Besides the many notebooks and pads that I have kept over the years, these have been kept apart for occasional inspiration. I guess there are no more than fifty pages of A5 notes: a messy lot, which I sorted out one day by stapling the notes from the same course, event, retreat or workshop together. They form a mixed bunch. Some are from my chaplaincy training. Others are from Insight Dialogue meetings. There are notes from short retreats on the mystics like Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross. Some are from meetings on Dogen and reference his koans like “Being Time”. There are notes on a course on the Jewish Bible (Old Testament) with the Hebrew Bible Centre and some on the Kabbalah and dreaming (Applied Jewish Spirituality), a study on the Book of Ruth and the Book of Judith, and on a text called Faith in Mind, a sixth century poem by a Chinese Buddhist Master, with the beautiful words: “the Great Way is not difficult for s/he who has no preferences”. I meditated a whole year on this sentence a few years back.
As I read my notes, quotes and words, I believe, in essence, that they are from one source and fundamentally encapsulate the same message. The message is of hope and love and courage and faith. Perhaps the message is not only to embrace the paradox, but to embody it, as this may be the way to hope, love, courage and faith?
What else do I find in my notes:
“Paradox of duality and non-duality. Each stage is reality - not one is higher or lower. Duality is important to see right and wrong. Duality and non-duality are both essential. We experience both in each moment”.
“Can we escape the donkey’s certainty and the horse’s recklessness”?
“This winter I suddenly realised the snow is the mountain”, from a poem by Dogen.
“Leverage point: each moment of the dual world is a leverage point to attain non-dual reality. Each moment of non-duality is a leverage point for us to apply non-duality in the phenomenal world”.
“An enlightened person is someone who embodies a deep understanding of non-duality whilst acting in accordance with ordinary boundaries. Not being bound to either realm, but acting freely and harmoniously. Not one, not two”.
“Who do you say I am? Boundless. All-encompassing love. Bird song. Snowflake. Charnel ground. Tulip and oak tree. Rain cloud and storm. My neighbour. My enemy. In all things your love can be found”.
“Ruth cleaved to Naomi. Cleave. To stay with. To cling to. Commitment. I am the vine. Lingering. God asks us to give him one more day”.
“Dreams are initiators of experience. Our awakened life is what it is because of what we dream” - from the Zohar.
“Dying is like taking off a garment. Our soul has put on many garments before”.
“How does the resurrection invite me to receive the word LET for my own resurrection, saving and birth”?
“Go home. He is waiting for you there”.
If we stopped trying to defend our religions and our opinions, I’m sure the world would be more peaceful. Non-grasping is a key concept in all the world’s religions. Letting go of self; emptying out; waking up from greed, hatred and ignorance; emptiness; compassion; presence. Whatever the words we use. The intentions are the same.
“Zazen is wordless, imageless, unbounded Prayer”.
“Do you have the courage to see yourself as God sees you and to live accordingly”? (Ellen Birx - Buddhist Roshi)
“Aren’t we all blind until we say Yes”? (Luke 18:35 - the blind beggar)
“I meditate so that I’ll be awake when Jesus arrives”.
“I pray not to escape the world, but to be able to enter fully into it”.
“For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love” (Carl Sagan)
“A good traveller has no fixed plans and is not intent on arrival”, Lao Tze. This is called embodying the Light.
“I have called you by Name”. Naming is essential. Naming separates. Naming gives meaning. Embrace the paradox.
“We pause not to think, but to locate experience. We pause from what the mind is fabricating”.
“Discern the difference between understanding and insight. We don’t ‘think’ insights into being - they arise”.
“What is your true face before your parents were born”? (Zen question)
“After the final no, there comes a Yes, and on that Yes, the future world depends” (Wallace Stevens)
I wonder what your “YES” will be in 2026? Whatever your religion or no-religion; wherever you may be on this beautiful planet - be blessed and be a blessing to those around you.
Thank you for accompanying me in 2025. I hope we are all moving towards becoming the ocean….
With love
Kim
I enjoyed this immensely. It felt like yet another gift for the holidays.....something to contemplate for months. Thank you.